Sunday, June 21, 2009

Three posts in one day?


I love Husbandly One with all my heart, but I'm not some dewy eyed newlywed, ok? I KNOW this man. This frustrating, procrastinating man.

Oh waaaahhh, we have the Big Concert in six days, waaahh, I have so much work to do.

Yes, you do. You also deserve a moment's peace, never mind an actual day off. We both know that all you can reasonably expect right now is a moment.

So when you came home from work at 5pm on Friday? I was shocked but pleased. You did absolutely no work on the concert that evening, despite the multiple times you mentioned, "God, it's in a WEEK, I'm not ready."

And when you didn't do a $%$$# thing on the concert Saturday? I thought, wow, dude is really using his down time and charging his batteries, good for him. Yet you again told me, "If I don't get some work done today I'm hooped." Yes, well.

It is now Sunday at 10:40 pm. You have whined about how much you need to do, off and on, for the last eight hours. You are currently watching boxing on TV while playing soccer on the computer. "So really, DEAR, how's the concert coming??" And you look at me like I'm not even speaking English.

You are my heart and soul. You give me more joy than you will ever know. You make me feel safe. You make my heart sing.

But I KNOW you, you procrastinating loser. Earlier tonight, you even set out to clean the bathroom, rather than get your REAL work done. I grabbed the sponge and spray bottle out of your hand, told you I would do it instead, and I swear I thought you were going to cry. It is now three hours later, and you still haven't done any work. And God HELP you if, between now and the concert, I hear one more single complaint out of you about how far behind you are.

I love you. You're an idiot.