I just saw a TV commercial for a new prescription drug that will help the user grow thicker eyelashes.
What what what WHAT?????
Hey, Eyelash Scientist Man, way to go! Seriously, be proud of all those lush lash lines! You totally managed to make a pile of money off of the "fun" science, not the "depressing" science like working on cancer or multiple sclerosis or spinal cord injuries or even bloody DANDRUFF. No, you went ahead and created a miracle drug that will help vain, vacuous people everywhere! Don't let anyone tell you you wasted your God given gifts, because a full lash line is every bit as important as curing juvenile diabetes. Promise.
And you know what is funniest about all this? Because of bad chicken pox scarring from when I was a child, I actually AM missing about half of the eyelashes on my left eye. And yet somehow I have managed to lead a full life, I have had a successful career, I have known love, I have enjoyed my years as a mother. All without a complete set of eyelashes!
And when I eventually and inevitably hear that insurance companies are willing to pay for this miracle drug? I'll probably start pulling my own remaining lashes out, just so the pain can distract me from where our society is going....