Monday, July 7, 2008

Homesick

You may recall me mentioning a few months ago that my Super-Intelligent-Curious-About-The-World-Around-Him-Fabulously-Literate-And-Omigod-Is-He-FUNNY twelve year old son won his school district's history fair and therefore won an all expenses paid trip to the other side of the country (Victoria BC) to do some historically minded sight seeing, and just genereally be rewarded for being Awesome. Only 165 kids in the whole country, people, and MY child is one of them.

Heh heh. I rock. Whoops....I mean, HE rocks....naw, who am I kidding, my superior genes rock.

He left this morning.

Huh.

I called my ex-husband at 5pm (which was probably before my son's plane even LANDED in Victoria) and wailed, "I'm homesick."

In all of Son's 4385 plus days, he has never been someplace where my Ex-Husband or I couldn't swoop in and control the situation if we so chose. He has travelled extensively with my Ex-Huband, far from my reach, and I have never questioned Son's safety for a second. I have taken Son thousands of miles away from Ex-Husband, and nobody so much as blinked, never mind lost any sleep. We, as divorced parents, trust each other completely, know that neither of us will ever allow anything bad to happen to our ultimate life's joy.

But tonight? I am near panic attack status. He has never been away from a parent longer than one night, and he has never been someplace we couldn't drive over and get him if he wanted to come home.

And I put my baby on a flight to take him 6000 km away from us? AM I NUTS?

Or am I just facing the first sign that my baby isn't exactly a baby anymore, and someday he will be (stop saying it) a grown man with a life of his own?

Is this really how it starts?


I'm homesick.

1 comment:

Gillian Grattan-Baldwin said...

OMG I cannot even imagine that pain of worry and separation at this point! I still can't think about allowing him to go down the street on his own yet! I know the day you just faced with your son will come one day for me too but it almost brings me to tears and panic to contemplate.
Reading your blog just now has reminded me to feel blessed and take in the enjoyment of not having to wave bye to him off on his own just yet....
stay strong mamma....xo