Alone

Husbandly One's work schedule is all over the place, and there are many nights when I go to bed alone. Still, this doesn't bother me. I enjoy my solitude, I enjoy the evenings when I can eat popcorn for dinner, scrapbook, and watch whatever I want on TV, with no one checking hockey scores every commercial. I know that, even if I go to bed alone, I will wake up with him.

Then there are nights like tonight. He is away on a quick business trip. I kissed him goodbye at 4pm, and I will kiss him hello around the same time tomorrow. Essentially, it is identical to those nights when he gets home late. Except it's not, it's not the same thing at all. He won't be home tonight.

He didn't have a choice, he had to go, it was an important trip, and I understand that intellectually. But the emotional part of me is all sooky, sad, and lonely. The simple fact that I know he won't throw an arm over my hip while I sleep has me devastated.

I suppose that's a good thing.