Hee hee, I KNEW living in my time zone would pay off eventually.
I just watched the season finale of Lost. You didn't.
Hee hee hee hee hee....Just WAIT til you see what I already know!
Thursday, May 29, 2008
Friday, May 23, 2008
Leonard Cohen thinks I'm sweet
Yes, I am now officially sweet. Why? Because Leonard Cohen told me so.
Went to the concert tonight, it was beyond spectacular. I have never seen so many standing ovations in my life. Dude performed for three hours and he rocked my world.
After, Husbandly One and I cut through the hotel after the concert to get to our car, and who do we come face to face with but the man himself. Husbandly One told Mr. Cohen how much we enjoyed the show, I thanked him for his great performance, we parted ways. And once there was 150 feet between us, I remembered I actually had a legitimate message for him.
I whirled around and RAN across the lobby just as he was getting in the elevator. The elevator door was almost closed when I yelled, "Sir, I have a message for you from Mr. XXX !"
Long pause.
Elevator door opens. Clearly the name I mentioned was well known to him (which I knew it would be, but still....at least I wasn't some crazy stalker!)
I get in the elevator out of breath. I gasp, "I'm sorry! I work at the hotel, I actually made all your arrangements here. This afteroon Mr. XXX's assistant called to see if you wanted to go to synagogue with him tomorrow, but I told her you were flying out tonight. I only found out at 5pm that your plans had changed and you were leaving tomorrow. So I just wanted to let you know that Mr. XXX did try to get in touch. I would hate for you to miss each other because of me."
Slight pause.
Lovely, lovely smile on his face.
"Oh aren't you just sweet to let me know. But I'm leaving very early in the morning so I won't be able to see him this trip."
"Well", I said, "I just wanted to let you know."
"That is very sweet of you to worry. Thank you for taking the time."
And then we made small talk, blah blah blah. He got off on his floor, I rode the elevator back to the lobby, and when I got out my knees were actually weak.
Listen, I deal with celebrities all the time. I am the least star struck person on the planet.
But, hello? It was Leonard Bloody Cohen.
And he thinks I'm sweet.
Went to the concert tonight, it was beyond spectacular. I have never seen so many standing ovations in my life. Dude performed for three hours and he rocked my world.
After, Husbandly One and I cut through the hotel after the concert to get to our car, and who do we come face to face with but the man himself. Husbandly One told Mr. Cohen how much we enjoyed the show, I thanked him for his great performance, we parted ways. And once there was 150 feet between us, I remembered I actually had a legitimate message for him.
I whirled around and RAN across the lobby just as he was getting in the elevator. The elevator door was almost closed when I yelled, "Sir, I have a message for you from Mr. XXX !"
Long pause.
Elevator door opens. Clearly the name I mentioned was well known to him (which I knew it would be, but still....at least I wasn't some crazy stalker!)
I get in the elevator out of breath. I gasp, "I'm sorry! I work at the hotel, I actually made all your arrangements here. This afteroon Mr. XXX's assistant called to see if you wanted to go to synagogue with him tomorrow, but I told her you were flying out tonight. I only found out at 5pm that your plans had changed and you were leaving tomorrow. So I just wanted to let you know that Mr. XXX did try to get in touch. I would hate for you to miss each other because of me."
Slight pause.
Lovely, lovely smile on his face.
"Oh aren't you just sweet to let me know. But I'm leaving very early in the morning so I won't be able to see him this trip."
"Well", I said, "I just wanted to let you know."
"That is very sweet of you to worry. Thank you for taking the time."
And then we made small talk, blah blah blah. He got off on his floor, I rode the elevator back to the lobby, and when I got out my knees were actually weak.
Listen, I deal with celebrities all the time. I am the least star struck person on the planet.
But, hello? It was Leonard Bloody Cohen.
And he thinks I'm sweet.
Thursday, May 22, 2008
The things that man does for me...
At some point on this blog I mentioned how much I wanted to see Leonard Cohen in concert, but the show was sold out. Husbandly One called the venue manager (a good friend of his who ALWAYS gets us tickets when we ask) at the time, and our friend told him that he literally had nothing left, the show had sold out completely in 15 minutes.
Fast forward to this week. At it turned out, Leonard Cohen is actually my client at the hotel, so you'd think I would have some kind of "in" for tickets. As it turns out, no.
This afternoon, Husbandly One was over at the venue for a completely different reason, and he casually asked the manager if anything had freed up. Manager slowly asked Husbandly One what he needed. Husbandly One said one ticket, just one, it's just that Wifely One wants this so bad, I just need one seat for her. Just please, if you can, take care of Wifely One.
Venue manager said that would never do, Wifely One should be treated like a lady and not be sent out without a date, and he came up with two tickets for us.
Absolute WORST seats in the house, (which is why they got cancelled) but I am on cloud nine. I'M GOING TO LEONARD COHEN.
I'm just so touched that Husbandly One's priority was ME, he didn't care if he missed the show as long as I got to go.
Knew I kept him around for a reason....
Fast forward to this week. At it turned out, Leonard Cohen is actually my client at the hotel, so you'd think I would have some kind of "in" for tickets. As it turns out, no.
This afternoon, Husbandly One was over at the venue for a completely different reason, and he casually asked the manager if anything had freed up. Manager slowly asked Husbandly One what he needed. Husbandly One said one ticket, just one, it's just that Wifely One wants this so bad, I just need one seat for her. Just please, if you can, take care of Wifely One.
Venue manager said that would never do, Wifely One should be treated like a lady and not be sent out without a date, and he came up with two tickets for us.
Absolute WORST seats in the house, (which is why they got cancelled) but I am on cloud nine. I'M GOING TO LEONARD COHEN.
I'm just so touched that Husbandly One's priority was ME, he didn't care if he missed the show as long as I got to go.
Knew I kept him around for a reason....
Wednesday, May 21, 2008
Silence is golden
It is almost midnight. My 23 year old stepson just got home from work, and immediately descended on the kitchen to devour whatever he could find. (We've been down this road before.)
After wolfing down whatever he found to eat, he went to put his dirty plate in the dishwasher, and discovered I had run the machine and all the dishes in there were clean.
All on his own, for the first time in his life, he has taken it upon himself to unload the dishwasher and put everything away. Now, on one hand, it will take me DAYS to straighten out whatever he is in there doing, days before I find all my commonly used items.
But I am not saying a WORD. I know a gift horse when I see one.
After wolfing down whatever he found to eat, he went to put his dirty plate in the dishwasher, and discovered I had run the machine and all the dishes in there were clean.
All on his own, for the first time in his life, he has taken it upon himself to unload the dishwasher and put everything away. Now, on one hand, it will take me DAYS to straighten out whatever he is in there doing, days before I find all my commonly used items.
But I am not saying a WORD. I know a gift horse when I see one.
Sunday, May 18, 2008
Give me a farking break
Check out the following "news" article I just found on line. (and try not to be surprised that, ummm, dumb Canadian that I am, I actually know how to read the news on line...)
Canada a connectivity laggard, Nortel says
13/05/2008 6:57:57 PMCBC News
Canada is the least connected country in a 17-nation study by Nortel on technology and telecommunications usage, raising concerns about our ability to compete in the global economy.
The "hyperconnectivity" study, released Tuesday by Framingham, Mass.-based global technology analysis firm IDC and funded by Toronto-based Nortel, measured how many devices and communications applications were used by people in the workforce. A worker who used seven devices, such as a cellphone, MP3 player or laptop, and nine applications, such as e-mail, video conferencing or a blog, was considered "hyperconnected," while one who stuck to e-mail, desktop internet access and voice calls on a cellphone was a "barebones" user.
About 16 per cent of the workforce in the countries studied is hyperconnected, with another 36 per cent on their way to joining that category as the pace of connection accelerates. About 28 per cent of the workforce is of the "barebones" variety.
China ranked first in total number of hyperconnected workers, while Russia had the highest percentage of increased hyperconnectivity. Canada, along with the United Arab Emirates, had the fewest number of hyperconnected workers.
IDC said poor rankings were reflected by a number of factors, including the size of companies operating in the different markets. Countries with a large number of medium-sized businesses, such as China, India and Germany, tended to have a larger number of well-connected workers. Countries with a large number of big or small companies, such as Mexico and Brazil, yielded a lower level of hyperconnected employees. Small companies cannot afford to be well-connected while bigger firms are generally slow to invest in new technology, IDC said.
Canada's poor showing was also explained by several other factors, according to Kelly Kanellakis, strategy and operations leader for the chief technology officer of Nortel, which is North America's largest maker of telecommunications equipment. First off, Canada does not yet have access to a number of devices, such as Apple's iPhone or the Amazon Kindle, or online applications such as movie and music downloads from the likes of TiVo and Napster.
Canada is also hampered by a telecommunications structure that is behind other countries, he said, as well as an attitude that things that happen in the rest of the world don't affect us. (Nortel derives more than half its revenue from selling telecommunications infrastructure in North America.)
"The structure of Canadian telecom is just not at that place yet where we're doing more and more of that," he said. "We're being laggards in this case."
"One of the biggest things that we have noticed, and we've seen it over and over again, is that something will come out in other parts of the world - some sort of technology, capability or usage pattern - and what we haven't done is prepare for it because we constantly think of ourselves as being immune to it," Kanellakis said. "Every time, it comes here and it catches us unprepared and then we have to scramble to catch up."
Kanellakis said text messaging was one example of how Canada missed the boat. While texting makes up a huge portion of cellphone revenue in other countries, in Canada it is minimal - and users' attitudes is thus reflective. In the study, 52 per cent of respondents in China said they were willing to send a business text message while on vacation, while only 11 per cent of Canadians said the same.
The hyperconnectivity study is known as a "white paper," which telecommunications equipment makers periodically commission in order to encourage investment by businesses and governments. Such documents often identify problems and suggest solutions to them.
The IDC survey, which polled 2,400 working adults, also found - not surprisingly - that work is increasingly blending with personal time. More than 40 per cent of hyperconnected respondents, for example, said they had sent a text message to work from their bed.
This will only increase, Kanellakis said, as more young people who are always connected enter the workforce.
The study provides a warning for Canada and other laggards to prepare for the coming wave of workers who demand hyperconnectivity, Kanellakis said. Businesses will have to revamp their privacy policies and invest in equipment in order to keep pace with other companies, according to the study.
"At least this is the early-warning sign," he said. "We see the trend and it's happening in the rest of the world - it's even happening in the U.S. - it's not that long before it's going to happen here.
=====================
So am I really supposed to think there is something wrong with me because I refuse to answer work email while on vacation, or while I'm in bed? I didn't realize I was somehow defective simply because I believe work is work, and home is home.
Maybe Canada isn't behind the game. Maybe Canadians are the only sane ones out there.
Canada a connectivity laggard, Nortel says
13/05/2008 6:57:57 PMCBC News
Canada is the least connected country in a 17-nation study by Nortel on technology and telecommunications usage, raising concerns about our ability to compete in the global economy.
The "hyperconnectivity" study, released Tuesday by Framingham, Mass.-based global technology analysis firm IDC and funded by Toronto-based Nortel, measured how many devices and communications applications were used by people in the workforce. A worker who used seven devices, such as a cellphone, MP3 player or laptop, and nine applications, such as e-mail, video conferencing or a blog, was considered "hyperconnected," while one who stuck to e-mail, desktop internet access and voice calls on a cellphone was a "barebones" user.
About 16 per cent of the workforce in the countries studied is hyperconnected, with another 36 per cent on their way to joining that category as the pace of connection accelerates. About 28 per cent of the workforce is of the "barebones" variety.
China ranked first in total number of hyperconnected workers, while Russia had the highest percentage of increased hyperconnectivity. Canada, along with the United Arab Emirates, had the fewest number of hyperconnected workers.
IDC said poor rankings were reflected by a number of factors, including the size of companies operating in the different markets. Countries with a large number of medium-sized businesses, such as China, India and Germany, tended to have a larger number of well-connected workers. Countries with a large number of big or small companies, such as Mexico and Brazil, yielded a lower level of hyperconnected employees. Small companies cannot afford to be well-connected while bigger firms are generally slow to invest in new technology, IDC said.
Canada's poor showing was also explained by several other factors, according to Kelly Kanellakis, strategy and operations leader for the chief technology officer of Nortel, which is North America's largest maker of telecommunications equipment. First off, Canada does not yet have access to a number of devices, such as Apple's iPhone or the Amazon Kindle, or online applications such as movie and music downloads from the likes of TiVo and Napster.
Canada is also hampered by a telecommunications structure that is behind other countries, he said, as well as an attitude that things that happen in the rest of the world don't affect us. (Nortel derives more than half its revenue from selling telecommunications infrastructure in North America.)
"The structure of Canadian telecom is just not at that place yet where we're doing more and more of that," he said. "We're being laggards in this case."
"One of the biggest things that we have noticed, and we've seen it over and over again, is that something will come out in other parts of the world - some sort of technology, capability or usage pattern - and what we haven't done is prepare for it because we constantly think of ourselves as being immune to it," Kanellakis said. "Every time, it comes here and it catches us unprepared and then we have to scramble to catch up."
Kanellakis said text messaging was one example of how Canada missed the boat. While texting makes up a huge portion of cellphone revenue in other countries, in Canada it is minimal - and users' attitudes is thus reflective. In the study, 52 per cent of respondents in China said they were willing to send a business text message while on vacation, while only 11 per cent of Canadians said the same.
The hyperconnectivity study is known as a "white paper," which telecommunications equipment makers periodically commission in order to encourage investment by businesses and governments. Such documents often identify problems and suggest solutions to them.
The IDC survey, which polled 2,400 working adults, also found - not surprisingly - that work is increasingly blending with personal time. More than 40 per cent of hyperconnected respondents, for example, said they had sent a text message to work from their bed.
This will only increase, Kanellakis said, as more young people who are always connected enter the workforce.
The study provides a warning for Canada and other laggards to prepare for the coming wave of workers who demand hyperconnectivity, Kanellakis said. Businesses will have to revamp their privacy policies and invest in equipment in order to keep pace with other companies, according to the study.
"At least this is the early-warning sign," he said. "We see the trend and it's happening in the rest of the world - it's even happening in the U.S. - it's not that long before it's going to happen here.
=====================
So am I really supposed to think there is something wrong with me because I refuse to answer work email while on vacation, or while I'm in bed? I didn't realize I was somehow defective simply because I believe work is work, and home is home.
Maybe Canada isn't behind the game. Maybe Canadians are the only sane ones out there.
Do you know when I love yardwork the most?
When I'm not frigging doing it, that's when.
Every winter, when I'm shovelling snow and waiting for either my hernia or heart attack, I pass the time by grumbling to myself. Stupid snow, if I wanted to be using a shovel, I'd be in my GARDEN. I delude myself that gardening is easier that shovelling... by February I pretty much believe it, and this year especially I had more than the normal number of brainwashing sessions with myself, thanks to the ninety four thousand snowstorms we had this winter.
April comes. I no longer have to shovel, instead I simply have to wait for the snowbanks to melt. The ground is too wet (and, umm, too under the snow) to work, so instead I repeat my annual ritual of reading my many gardening books. By the end of April, I am like a heroin addict who knows her next fix will be in three weeks, or once the ground warms up. I NEED to play in the earth, to plant, to add compost, to pull weeds. Need it like a physical thing.
And then days like today come along, my first real chance to get out there and play hardcore. Hmph! Turns out this gardening thing really sucks and I just keep forgetting it. Today I added compost to my flower bed; pulled rocks out of the expansion to the bed; spent half an hour trying to dig out a rock which was bigger than my first apartment; pissed off a BUNCH of hornets who were, apparently, quite attached to that rock; replanted my morning glories; planted all my annuals; and dug up all the weeds under my pine tree. So far so good, all of that only took three hours or so.
But, remember me? The chick who lives to feel a trowel in her hand? I decided I hadn't done enough and started to start digging out the dandelions.
Now, a word about the dandelions. We have lots. In fact, I believe we have all the dandelions in God's creation. That same meteorological trick that ensures all our neighbours leaves end up in our yard in the fall, ALSO ensures any wayward dandelion seeds from their yards end up on my lawn.
As it happens, we are actually planning to re-grade and re-seed the front lawn this year, which is why I am weeding with such fervor. If I have to start over, I certainly want to get as many weeds out ahead of time, while I can dig them up without really paying attention to the damage I'm doing to the lawn overall....after all, in a few weeks we'll have a NEW one.
Well, I spent three hours digging those suckers up, I have two garbage bags full...and other than the occasional divot in the lawn, you'd never know I had done anything, I am STILL looking at a sea of yellow. My arms hurt, my back hurts, my ass hurts. And, YAY, I get to do it all again tomorrow!
Next time I say I love this shit, slap me. Hard.
Every winter, when I'm shovelling snow and waiting for either my hernia or heart attack, I pass the time by grumbling to myself. Stupid snow, if I wanted to be using a shovel, I'd be in my GARDEN. I delude myself that gardening is easier that shovelling... by February I pretty much believe it, and this year especially I had more than the normal number of brainwashing sessions with myself, thanks to the ninety four thousand snowstorms we had this winter.
April comes. I no longer have to shovel, instead I simply have to wait for the snowbanks to melt. The ground is too wet (and, umm, too under the snow) to work, so instead I repeat my annual ritual of reading my many gardening books. By the end of April, I am like a heroin addict who knows her next fix will be in three weeks, or once the ground warms up. I NEED to play in the earth, to plant, to add compost, to pull weeds. Need it like a physical thing.
And then days like today come along, my first real chance to get out there and play hardcore. Hmph! Turns out this gardening thing really sucks and I just keep forgetting it. Today I added compost to my flower bed; pulled rocks out of the expansion to the bed; spent half an hour trying to dig out a rock which was bigger than my first apartment; pissed off a BUNCH of hornets who were, apparently, quite attached to that rock; replanted my morning glories; planted all my annuals; and dug up all the weeds under my pine tree. So far so good, all of that only took three hours or so.
But, remember me? The chick who lives to feel a trowel in her hand? I decided I hadn't done enough and started to start digging out the dandelions.
Now, a word about the dandelions. We have lots. In fact, I believe we have all the dandelions in God's creation. That same meteorological trick that ensures all our neighbours leaves end up in our yard in the fall, ALSO ensures any wayward dandelion seeds from their yards end up on my lawn.
As it happens, we are actually planning to re-grade and re-seed the front lawn this year, which is why I am weeding with such fervor. If I have to start over, I certainly want to get as many weeds out ahead of time, while I can dig them up without really paying attention to the damage I'm doing to the lawn overall....after all, in a few weeks we'll have a NEW one.
Well, I spent three hours digging those suckers up, I have two garbage bags full...and other than the occasional divot in the lawn, you'd never know I had done anything, I am STILL looking at a sea of yellow. My arms hurt, my back hurts, my ass hurts. And, YAY, I get to do it all again tomorrow!
Next time I say I love this shit, slap me. Hard.
Tuesday, May 13, 2008
...and so, at last, to sleep
This morning my friends Darren and Maureen lost their son Jacob. In the end, Jacob's medical problems were simply insurmountable... as my friend Cathy said, "If love could have saved him, he would have lived forever."
In his twenty months of life, Jacob taught all of us about courage, hope, and innocence. And his parents taught us grace, strength, and faith.
Tonight I would ask you to do something for me in Jacob's memory: hug your children just a moment longer, hold them just a little tighter, tell them you love them, and remember to be thankful for them.
In his twenty months of life, Jacob taught all of us about courage, hope, and innocence. And his parents taught us grace, strength, and faith.
Tonight I would ask you to do something for me in Jacob's memory: hug your children just a moment longer, hold them just a little tighter, tell them you love them, and remember to be thankful for them.
Thursday, May 8, 2008
Boy genius
Tonight I went to Son's school district's Heritage Fair. This was the third year in a row his project was chosen for the Fair. First year, he got an honourable mention in his category. Last year, he won the award in his category. This year, he won the whole damn thing.
This July, Son will be one of the 165 winners from all parts of Canada, travelling to Victoria BC for the National Fair, and a WEEK of heritage-related sightseeing, all expenses paid.
He is so, so proud. My kid frigging ROCKS.
Oh, and his project was on the Avro Arrow. And I need to go to bed. But my kid frigging rocks.
This July, Son will be one of the 165 winners from all parts of Canada, travelling to Victoria BC for the National Fair, and a WEEK of heritage-related sightseeing, all expenses paid.
He is so, so proud. My kid frigging ROCKS.
Oh, and his project was on the Avro Arrow. And I need to go to bed. But my kid frigging rocks.
Tuesday, May 6, 2008
So much happiness - PARENTAL ADVISORY
I am not exactly a cutting edge kind of girl, and I tend to miss out on the hottest pop culture, so although the video clips to follow are a few months old, I only saw them today.
My day started off pretty crappy again today (totally different reason, though...this time my stress revolved around a monumentally incompetent meeting planner, instead of around something I dreamed.) Regardless, by lunch time I was exhausted. A friend of mine said, "Irma, come to my office, I got something to show you that'll cheer you up."
And she showed me this. (Warning, NOT family friendly. Or friendly to people with taste.) (And let it load completely before you watch, otherwise the starting-and-stopping ruins the moment)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DLtY40hLI0o
It made me chuckle, it was cute, but I almost peed my pants when she showed me THIS
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6lcmNaXmjvs
Dude, that is sooooo what I needed today.
My day started off pretty crappy again today (totally different reason, though...this time my stress revolved around a monumentally incompetent meeting planner, instead of around something I dreamed.) Regardless, by lunch time I was exhausted. A friend of mine said, "Irma, come to my office, I got something to show you that'll cheer you up."
And she showed me this. (Warning, NOT family friendly. Or friendly to people with taste.) (And let it load completely before you watch, otherwise the starting-and-stopping ruins the moment)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DLtY40hLI0o
It made me chuckle, it was cute, but I almost peed my pants when she showed me THIS
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6lcmNaXmjvs
Dude, that is sooooo what I needed today.
Monday, May 5, 2008
Just my normal, sunny disposition
Wow, was today a crappy day.
I woke up suddenly from a nightmare that we had gone bankrupt. (seriously, THAT was my dream, and then I immediately had to get up, no chance to go back for a second dream where we won the lottery.)
Husbandly One had today off, so he was still asleep when I had to leave. I kind of poked him and said, "Umm...I'm leaving." He (in his 97% asleep state) rolled over and raised his arms to me instinctively, like a small child, and kind of mumbled, "I love you baby", which made me cry. No, not in the good way, in the way of, "Huh, how come the only time I get your undivided mental and physical attention is when you are unsconscious?"
(And yeah yeah, calm DOWN, I get lots of attention from him in normal life, but I was already a little bummed out and vulnerable and irrational at that point, okay, and it was only 7:30am)
I got to work for a breakfast thing at 8 am, and one of my co-workers made a comment that was not intended to hurt me -- it wasn't even directed at me--, but cut me to the quick and I sat in a restaurant with three other women, trying not to cry. I almost made it. Not quite, but almost.
And my day only got more festive from there. Around 10 am, I said something to my manager which was, to be fair, slightly unfair and definitely bitchy on my part. She called me on it, and then I said in an acid tone, just dripping with sarcasm, "Listen, I'm just in a really bad mood, alright? So I'm not going to express my opinion about anything else today because clearly everything I say and everything I think is wrong."
And then when she left my office, I once again sat in near-tears, because I couldn't believe how fucking rude I had just been.
And then, around 11 am, I wallowed in the knowledge that Husbandly One won't even remember to even get me a card for Mother's Day and I sat there feeling sorry for myself. And then by 11:30, I was furious at myself for having the expectation that I DESERVE something for Mother's Day from Husbandly One. (Some mention of te day from my son? I totally deserve THAT. But to expect something from Husbandly One, who met me six years AFTER I had my son? Not so much.)
And then, just because I figured I couldn't get any more miserable, I checked all the lottery tickets in my wallet. Huh.
Kept my head down, and my bitchy comments to myself for the rest of the day, thank God for tender mercies. My manager gave me a wide berth, and around 5pm gave me a quick, "Tomorrow's another day." Which, of course, is her way of saying she forgives me for being an asshole, but made me feel worse.
But she's right, tomorrow IS another day, and I really hope it's better than today.
I woke up suddenly from a nightmare that we had gone bankrupt. (seriously, THAT was my dream, and then I immediately had to get up, no chance to go back for a second dream where we won the lottery.)
Husbandly One had today off, so he was still asleep when I had to leave. I kind of poked him and said, "Umm...I'm leaving." He (in his 97% asleep state) rolled over and raised his arms to me instinctively, like a small child, and kind of mumbled, "I love you baby", which made me cry. No, not in the good way, in the way of, "Huh, how come the only time I get your undivided mental and physical attention is when you are unsconscious?"
(And yeah yeah, calm DOWN, I get lots of attention from him in normal life, but I was already a little bummed out and vulnerable and irrational at that point, okay, and it was only 7:30am)
I got to work for a breakfast thing at 8 am, and one of my co-workers made a comment that was not intended to hurt me -- it wasn't even directed at me--, but cut me to the quick and I sat in a restaurant with three other women, trying not to cry. I almost made it. Not quite, but almost.
And my day only got more festive from there. Around 10 am, I said something to my manager which was, to be fair, slightly unfair and definitely bitchy on my part. She called me on it, and then I said in an acid tone, just dripping with sarcasm, "Listen, I'm just in a really bad mood, alright? So I'm not going to express my opinion about anything else today because clearly everything I say and everything I think is wrong."
And then when she left my office, I once again sat in near-tears, because I couldn't believe how fucking rude I had just been.
And then, around 11 am, I wallowed in the knowledge that Husbandly One won't even remember to even get me a card for Mother's Day and I sat there feeling sorry for myself. And then by 11:30, I was furious at myself for having the expectation that I DESERVE something for Mother's Day from Husbandly One. (Some mention of te day from my son? I totally deserve THAT. But to expect something from Husbandly One, who met me six years AFTER I had my son? Not so much.)
And then, just because I figured I couldn't get any more miserable, I checked all the lottery tickets in my wallet. Huh.
Kept my head down, and my bitchy comments to myself for the rest of the day, thank God for tender mercies. My manager gave me a wide berth, and around 5pm gave me a quick, "Tomorrow's another day." Which, of course, is her way of saying she forgives me for being an asshole, but made me feel worse.
But she's right, tomorrow IS another day, and I really hope it's better than today.
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