Those of you who have known me for a while are aware that our home is quickly being flat out destroyed by our dog and the two cats. Code names: The Shedder, the Clawer, and the Vomiter.
They work as a team, and every night when I open the front door, I dread what I will find. Tonight I hauled me a big ole pile of cat puke out of the heating vent in the bathroom. Don't tell me I don't know how to party. The dog was happy that I was home, and as I watched her vigourously thump her tail, the explosive halo of hair flying off her body was almost eerily pretty. And while I was on my hands and knees, covered in golden fur with a pile of cold vomit in my hand, I could hear the other cat in the livingroom, tearing in to our upholstered furniture. She has clawed one of the chairs down to the wood interior, and I guess that means it's not fun anymore, because she has now moved on to the OTHER chair. That chair, by the way, is the dog's favourite place to hang out during the day, and is so hairy that People have not been able to sit on it in several years, I just can't get all the hair off.
And how are we dealing with this? Why, by buying all new livingroom furniture, which should arrive sometime in the next hour. That's right, folks. New couch. Yummy new chairs.
Why do I feel like crying?