This is your ass. Let me hand it to you.

Yesterday, my Atlantic Canadian city hosted a CFL game.

This was truly sports history: the Canadian Football League has held "exhibition" games in Atlantic Canada in the past, but this was an honest to goodness game: IT COUNTED. Like, what happened yesterday actually will ultimately affect who ends up in the Grey Cup. Big, big, BIG freaking deal if you are in to Canadian football.

In addition to being the host hotel of the CFL and Argos, we did all of the Stadium catering, we fed and watered 22,000 people.

Please understand that when we do large scale entertainment catering, it means us essentially picking up our hotel and plopping it in to the middle of a field. We do not have full scale cooking equipment, and we can only cook and serve whatever we brought with us. It is literally impossible to simply pop back to the hotel to get more food. So let me give you a brief rundown on the hugely successful entertainment catering we have done in the last few years:

Rolling Stones concert, 2005, VIP sections only, 6000 people (NOT number of ticket holders, number we were responsible to feed)
Brooks and Dunn, 2006, VIP and corporate tents, 3000 people (same caveat as above)
Tim McGraw and Faith Hill, 2007, 3000 people (as above)
Eagles concert, 2008, 50,000 people, we fed them ALL.
Bon Jovi, 2009, 15,000 people, we fed them all.
AC/DC, 2009, 80,000 people, we fed them all.
World Track and Field Championships, 2010, 10,000 per day for six days, we fed them all.

We are USED to large cater-outs, we are experts at it. But at the same time, a Stones concert isn't the same thing as a country concert isn't the same thing as a track and field event, isn't the same as....

Canadian Football League, Argos vs Eskimos, 2010, 22,000 people. We got FUCKED.

Yes, we know a lot about large scale catering, but we had never worked on a FOOTBALL game before. We used the info we have from all those past events and decided on our plan for this event....where we would operate to maximize sales, how many people it would take, how much beer and food to prepare.

And you know what? We got everything right. Except the food.

We ran out of food, ALL food, BEFORE half time. You know, that 20 minute period when we expected to be busiest. (And hey, we were right about that, too, ha ha!)

Before the game even broke for half time, we had no burgers, hot dogs, chili, popcorn, sandwiches. NO FOOD, not one single thing.

Bad, bad, bad, BAD day. When I think about all the money we could have made that we missed out on it makes me shiver. But at the same time, we sincerely DID believe we were set to feed the masses and it tore at all of us to turn to the crowd and tell all those hungry people that we had nothing for them. Yeah, we were the exclusive caterers. NICE.

There is talk of bringing the CFL back to our city next year. And next year? We will probably be the offcial caterers again. But I swear to you, football-loving-public, we will NOT run out of food again.

Who knew you people were so frigging hungry???

Too much information?

About 12 years ago, when I was 28, all of a sudden this weird hair (just one) began growing out my jaw on the left hand side, just below my ear. It was coarse and when I discovered it the first time, it was almost an inch long. Grooooooooooooooooss. I made with the tweezers right quick, believe me. I mean, who wants a pubic hair growing out of the side of their face??

Of course it keeps coming back, but thank GOD it hasn't been joined by any friends. I have a bad habit of touching my face while I am reading, sort of a nervous habit or a self soothing thing, who knows. So tonight I was reading and my left hand was wandering around my jaw line, and bingo! We have an interloper! Time to go contort in to weird postures in front of the mirror.

I plucked the stupid thing out....and it was pure white.

Huh.

High school and the Plague

This morning Son started (you guessed it) high school.

How did that happen, I swear it was only a year or two ago that I gave birth to him, that he was gurgling up at me in his adoring and adorable baby way.

High school. Wow. Sigh.

And....he didn't like it. He was a bit vague about WHY, but I can tell you he is very awkward in new situations, not the highest amount of self esteem, and makes friends only with difficulty.

Sigh.

Not sure who hurts more at these moments, the kids or thier parents who want only the very, very best for them.

IN THE MEAN TIME, nothing extraordinary happened at our house this weekend. I mean, Husbandly One and I are not partiers under most (read: ALL) circumstances, so this Tuesday morning, even after a Long Weekend, should have been totally normal.

Last night, I went to bed all perfectly happy at 10pm. I got up at midnight to say, basically, "Uh oh"."

SICK??? Takes someone with a more flamboyant vocabulary than I posess to explain what happened to my body next. At 12:30am, Husbandly One wiped my brow (said brow was currently lying on our bed, panting) and then said, "Sweetie, I'm just going to take a quick shower and I'll be back."

And I was all, "SHOWER??? You are NOT taking a shower, you are NOT getting between me and The Throne, you bastard. Get the hell out of my way!!"

Today I worked up the courage to go in to work, I had appointments this morning, after all. But at 12:30 I made Husbandly One bring me the fuck home, it was NOT pretty.

And then about an hour ago I realized I just missed the first choir practice of the year. I DON'T CARE.

THAT'S how sick I am.

NOT comparing the two

My favourite song, of all time, is Leonard Cohen's "Hallelujah". He himself has said that kd lang's version is the Definitive One... even though she skips verses. Whatever. She is a goddess. The End.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P_NpxTWbovE

But see, then I joined this choir. This amazing, amazing choir. So here's something totally different but totally the same. Let it load before watching, because it's worth waiting a few minutes.

(And I am the brunette blob at the far left end of the third row. In case you cared.)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=guhr0Vh2hE0

Thought for the day

"Parents put way too much empahasis on teaching their kids to read. Who cares? A kid who wants to learn how to read, will learn how to read. And that's what we hire teachers for, teach Johnny to read! Instead of focussing on teaching their kids to read, parents should teach their children to question what they read."

George Carlin

Please make it stop

I am watching Larry King Live! simply because the guest is Wanda Sykes, and I love her.

The conversation just came around to the fact that she is a legally married lesbian. His question??? "So, what do we call her? Your husband?"

"Umm, no, she's my wife. I'm her wife. We're both wives."

His next question. "Your 'wife' recently had twins. Were you present for the birth?"

I admire Wanda Sykes even more now, for not launching her body across the desk and punching his lights out.

WHEN will this neanderthal go away??