What follows is a post I wrote on my old blog, three years ago this week. Husbandly One developped apendicitis, but because it is a disease of the young (ie, under 30), the hospital didn't think of this as a possibility in my 56 year old Husbandly One until it was almost too late. When I wrote this, I was in shock, still trying to get my head around the fact that he had almost left me , and realizing just how much I truly love him.
Three years later, he is still very much mine, and tonight I am going to watch the movie again, and I will be thinking of him the entire time.
You're my soul, baby.
It's A Wonderful Life
Christmas classic, and my personal favourite. It just isn't the holiday season until I have watched George Bailey grapple with his demons, and then experience his realization of what Life's Blessings truly are.
I watched it alone this year. Watched it at home as I wrapped Christmas gifts, and my love lay sleeping in his hospital room. And as the movie reached it's sappy but sapping conclusion, I wept with thankfulness and joy. Mario's condition deteriorated this morning, and he underwent emergency surgery at 10 am. At noon, he was a groggy mewling kitten. By 8pm, he was a cantankerous old man, in a great deal of discomfort, bitching that he wants to come home. THAT, more than anything, calmed me, let me know everything will be alright.
My blessings are innumerable, simple, and often forgotten. I have a job, food to eat and a warm home to shelter me from the weather. I have a son who loves, adores, and takes care of me with his constant faith and affection. I have good mittens, a comfy coat, and a reliable car when I venture out. When I need to hear a human voice, not only do I have a functioning telephone, I have many people I can call who will be happy to hear from me. I have wonderful memories of the past, and beautiful, sacred dreams about the future. I can stand up and walk right now, if I so choose. I can see and I can hear. I know how to read. I have found the man I was born to love, the man who makes me feel safe, makes my heart skip a beat when he looks at me, fills me with desire when I smell his skin, calms me with a gentle touch on my cheek. I have found a man who feels those same things about me.
It's a wonderful life.